Fine.....100 things about me

I guess I didn't participate in the last one, so I figured that everyone will only tolerate so much of my antisocial tendencies.


1. I bought the kangaroo on Will's desk.

2. I refused to match the blue in the prom dress Cali made.

3. People commented about the mismatch the first time they saw the prom picture.

4. I lived in South Carolina and it never dawned on me to let Shiloh know at the time.

5. I get a kick out of doing things to "appal" members of my ward.

6. I'm such a Star Wars freak that when Shiloh mentioned Joseph (a play that I was also in) the only thing that I saw was that she had included the acronym: AT-AT. (.....sigh, the big walkers in The Empire Strikes Back)

7. At 17, Will, John, and Rodney created super hero personas (of which I was later included in on) of themselves....at 29, I still write stories for it....

8. My super hero moniker was/is The Celestial Warrior

9. Rodney wanted me called Dominion, I thought it sounded too evil

10. Now I like the idea of having a darker persona

11. I am one year younger than Cali!!!!

12. In 2004, I began writing a novelization of my life.

13. In 2007, I began reworking it to be more spiritually uplifiting, and geared more towards the specific LDS audience as opposed to a more mainstream one.

14. I'm pretty sure most of you would be shocked or appalled by its contents.

15. I'm pretty sure most of you would be crying by the end.

16. Unfortunately, I'm of the literary school that good biographies evoke emotional responses, but great biographies end in the untimely death of the antagonist!!!

17. I had the West Nile Virus in 2003 and survived without hospitilization.

18. I fall into the .01 percent of the Earth's population that has a super immune system, and am theoretically immune to the AIDS virus (there is yet no ethical way to test this)

19. Theroetically, given my Scotch/Irish heritage, I am possibly descended from a clan whose entire family survived the Black Death while the rest of the town perished.

20. Unfortunately, I have been unable to trace anything of my family name into the Isles.

21. Genealogically, I am 100% UK. My ancestry is Scotch/Irish/English/Welsh....nothing else.

22. It pains me a little that I can't say that about my children.

23. I have trained in 7 different martial arts.

24. I have used that training more teaching in Gary for 5 weeks than I have anywhere else.

25. I can still remember the shocked look on Shiloh's face when I told her I wanted to go to church with them.

26. 4 weeks later I had finished the Book of Mormon for the first time (That's Shiloh's fault ;) she didn't get it to me sooner)

27. I still have that Book of Mormon, and the set the missionaries bought for me at my baptism.

28. The first time I went to church, I walked three miles in the dark on a cold December day.

29. I grossly overestimated how long it would take to walk three miles to the Cunningham's house and was there waaay too early.

30. I like to tell people that I joined the church because of a girl, once they pop that knowing smile, I break the news that it was the daughter of a Nazarene minister (Do we remember Autumn Dicer?)

31. My brother-in-law and I had an arguement in the Chicago Temple about who will make High Priest first. ( I said him, then Lisa's brother, and finally, when the church is in dire straits....me)

32. John baptized me.

33. He never lets me live that down. Whenever I get off track he feels like that makes it his personal mission to bring me back...it has worked thus far ;)

34. John was in the room for my patriarchal blessing, the only one there with me.

35. He never lets me live that down either.

36. Had he been around at the time, John would have been the one to ordain me as Elder. (I'm not sure if he was an elder at the time??)

37. John is also who can claim the illustrious title of the only person at both of my disciplinary councils!!!!

38. Poor John.

39. 38 doesn't count.

40. Crap!! Neither does 39.

38. One of these days, I will look at all the amazing things I have experienced in the Gospel and all that the Lord has blessed me with, and be a little more grateful.

39. If I sit back on the couch in the Celestial Room of the Chicago Temple my knees don't fold over the edge.

40. I hope the chairs in the Terrestial Kingdom are smaller.

41. Every time I've gone to the Temple (outside of the first) I have been asked to do something in conjunction with that particular ordinance and think to myself "What are these people thinking?" but never have been able to turn them down.

42. I am the oldest Priesthood holder in my mother-in-laws family.

43. I am also the shortest.

44. I am the most liberal mormon I know, but also the most bold.

45. I speak Spanish just as well as I did on my mission.

46. I understand it now even better.

47. I never attended the MTC.

48. My trainer made me memorize discussions in the car.

49. It's fun to tell people that I served an 8 week mission, watch for signs of shock on thier face as they try to figure out what horrible thing I could have done, and then tell them it was all I was called for.

50. I never asked to go on said mission.

51. It's scary, to me, when a mission president calls you at your house and says "I just got off the phone with the First Presidency."

52. If that happens again I am half tempted to say "Excusa me, senor, pero, esta no es Hermano Phillips."

53. I'm pretty sure that won't work

54. I've considered learning it in Chinese.

55. Pretty sure that won't work either.

56. Pretty much praying that it won't happen again.

57. That includes calls from not only mission presidents, but anyone in a Stake position or higher.

58. I have twice brought G.I. Joe figures to church.

59. They were for my amusement.

60. I was 29 when I did this, in fact, it was just last month.

61. They are only for priesthood.

62. I embarrass my wife frequently.

63. She still loves me.

64. She doesn't know why.

65. I found a grey hare the other day but when I pulled it out my wife made me put it back in its cage.

66. 65, isn't true but I thought it was funny.

67. For years, Will, John, Rodney, and I wanted to attend Gen Con.

68. I am the only one who has gone.

69. I find it amusing that our current presidential candidates consist of one person who has been locked in a cage, and two people who should be.

70. While I would not have voted for a person simply because he was LDS, I found it very appaling that someone would run simply as an alternative to that.

71. I was really hoping that Romney would counter with a campaign slogan like. "Vote for me, not that Baptist dip****"

72. Romney is a better man than me.

73. I think Michael Jackson should be the voice of Lucky the Leprechaun. Those kids are always getting his Lucky Charms!!!

74. I have served in the United States Military for over 13 years.

75. It's weird to think of myself as a veteran, I once had someone tell me Happy Veteran's Day and I looked at them like that was quite possibly the dumbest thing they'd ever said to me.

76. For my 30th birthday party, we are planning on going to Chuck E. Cheese (my call)

77. I disagree with Will, I HAVE better night vision than anyone else I know....of course mine costs 6,000$.

78. I bet Will can't see in infrared either.

79. At one time or another I have disliked everyone in the group's wife....even my own.

80. I'm pretty sure no one else liked Malinda either.

81. The exceptions to 79 being Travis and Jason, whom I have never met and thus were not included in my collective usage of the word "group". Also Nicole, whom I have never met.

82. Will's lucky, anytime I watch strangers I've had the police called on me.

83. I once put a cop trying to arrest me in his own handcuffs

84. I thought it was funny.

85. Apparently my sense of humor is vastly different from those in law enforcement.

86. Every time we simulate combat in training, I die. Not because I get shot or blown up, but because those people running the training "kill" me for being unsafe.

87. The above acts have included: Charging a tank on foot with a grenade; standing in the back of a speeding humvee with a rocket launcher shooting at tanks; sliding across a suspended wire by my ankles while firing at "enemy" troops; kicking sand in a Captain's face when he was trying to get me to surrender; and diving out of a second story window to avoid "enemy" fire.

88. I would do all of the above in an actual combat situation.

89. I have never died in real combat, so in my opinion , I must be doing something right.

90. I have been shot though; however, it was not in combat overseas, but here in the US.

91. In 7 years of war I have only had to bury one comrade.

92. Despite my military background, I don't own a gun.

93. My wife finds it repugnant that if someone were to break into our house with a gun, I would disarm him and shoot him.

94. I think he would have it coming.

95. I do own a lightsaber....does that count?

96. 90% of my BLACK students think that the shuttle that carried the first black astronaut into space was called "The Soul Train"; not the Challenger.

97. I disagree with about 90% of the people who homeschool; not homeschooling itslef.

98. My biggest complaint is the people who keep their kids out of high school simply AND ONLY because of the lack of morals and ethics prevalent in today's youth. Well, let me tell you, if you haven't raised them right by that age then it really isn't going to matter if they're in High School or not.

99. I have probably just offended at least 20 people I know, 4 of which may be reading this.

100. I own every episode of Smallville.